Seed of Destruction – Cliché it may be, but Seed of Destruction is the story that started it all back in 1994 when Dark Horse Comics published Mike Mignola’s demonic hero. Seed of Destruction set the “rules” for Mignola’s dark and wondrous universe for the Big Red Monkey and his cohorts in the B.R.P.D. This is also the story that set the foundation for the first Hellboy film, a film that incorporates Wake the Devil and continues in The Right Hand of Doom.

The Corpse – A self-contained story, The Corpse is considered the finest of all the Hellboy stories. As a stand-alone tale, I might agree, but when held against the fantastic world Mike Mignola created, it is but one of many fantastic stories. Taking place in 1959, Hellboy travels to Ireland to save a stolen baby. But, in order to succeed, he must first get a corpse to its rightful resting place. This story just oozes moldy Irish folklore and Mignola’s words and art creates a beautifully creepy setting.

B.R.P.D. Hollow Earth & Other Stories – What, you thought this was only going to have Hellboy books? Oh, how wrong you are sir, you see, much of the joy in Hellboy comes from his friends and comrades in the B.R.P.D. This fun trade shows the B.R.P.D. in something of a shake-up. Liz and Hellboy are both gone, and my personal favorite team member, Abe Sapien, is having second thoughts about his role in the bureau. Hollow Earth and Other Stories has everything I’ve come to love in Mignola’s strange world; evil scientists, ancient monsters, and Nazi relics! Hollow Earth and Other Stories also introduces the reader to Lobster Man, a hero from the 1930s and a character debuting in Hellboy II: The Golden Army; Johann Klaus, a ghostly medium in a special containment suit.

Abe Sapien: The Drowning – I did mention that Abe Sapien is my favorite character, right? One of the newest books from Mike Mignola, The Drowning is also Abe’s first completely solo outing. Taking place in 1981, Abe is a fresh member of the B.R.P.D. For his first assignment, Abe is sent to the island of Saint Sebastian to retrieve the remains of a warlock. However, not all is what it seems and Abe learns his first mission might be his last. Okay, we know that isn’t gonna’ happen, but that doesn’t stop Abe Sapien: The Drowning from being one of the greatest Mignola tales ever and Jason Shawn Alexander’s clean and crisp lines only add to the Lovecraftian horror awaiting my favorite fish man! The series just wrapped up, but if you’re lucky, you can still find back issues before Hellboy II hits the cinema. Read it!

Hellboy: Strange Places – Mignola knows his fairy tales and it shows in the first story in the Strange Places trade. The Third Wish, Hellboy flies solo as he travels to African and speaks with a 200 years dead witch doctor. A bizarrely beautiful tale inspired by Hans Christian Anderson’s The Little Mermaid. Hellboy speaks with talking lions, a guilt-ridden bat, and travels to the deepest ocean bottoms. The Third Wish is one of those tales you read before curling up in bed and kissing your partner goodnight. Followed up with The Island, Mignola shows his writing chops as he somehow makes you feel pity for the vile Rasputin. Two years have passed since The Third Wish and our hero finds himself washed upon the shores after his previous adventure. Ignoring a warning from a long-lost enemy, we readers learn one of the greatest secrets about Hellboy and the impact it will have for years to come.

There you have it, a perfect primer for all things Hellboy and his buds at the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense. Remember, in the absence of light, darkness prevails. Then again, sometimes the darkness is the best weapon against the evils of this world… Especially if that darkness hides the great Dark Knight Detective!

Without taking a breath, here we go. The Batman books you must read to prepare yourself for Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight...

Batman: The Killing Joke – Like this one wasn’t going to make the list. However, the reason I started right out the gate with an obvious choice is because, well, it is the obvious choice. Alan Moore and Brian Bolland created what many consider as the greatest stand-alone Batman tale of all time. An assessment that is hard to argue with, indeed, I think I must count myself among those that believe so. This is the tale that so tragically paints the terrible truth behind Batman and his arch nemesis, The Joker. If there ever was a flawless Batman story, The Killing Joke is it!

Batman: Year Three & A Lonely Place of Dying – Look, every pop culture journalist and their wannabe hip editor is going to list The Killing Joke, Year One, The Dark Knight Returns, Hush, and The Dark Knight Strikes Again. (Ugh, that last one, total crap, but my reasons are for another article). Anyway, Year Three & A Lonely Place of Dying shows Batman at one of his lowest points ever. Still unable to recover from the death of Jason Todd (aka, Robin II); Batman has begun spiraling out of control. Beating criminals to within an inch of their lives and even pulling a gun on someone. Something must be done to save the Dark Knight from himself! Enter Dick Grayson, Batman’s first partner to help his long-time friend and mentor. However, with demons form the past and an unknown future rearing their ugly heads, even an old friend may not be enough to save Batman. Year Three & A Lonely Place of Dying are a solid piece of emotional writing that does a fantastic job of revealing the complex relationship between Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, and the young teen that would become the next Robin.

Batman: The Long Halloween – Where does one start. The Long Halloween reads like a sequel to the overrated Year One. Gotham lives under the heel of great crime families. Crime families that are feeling the pressure of this freak, “The Bat-Man”, even worse, his appearance seems to give birth to an all-new crop of freaks. Freaks that don’t care about the old ways of crime and honor among thieves. If you wondered where Nolan and crew received their inspiration for Batman Begins and the pending The Dark Knight, read The Long Halloween (and the sequel, Dark Victory) by Jeff Loeb and Tim Sale. You will thank me later!

JLA: The Tower of Babel – Again, did you think some of the best Batman stories would only take place in the pages of Detective Comics or Batman Comics? Think again my friends. Remember, Batman is considered one of the “Holy Trinity” of the DC Comics (regardless of how Grant Morrison is treating him right now). Tower of Babel shows just how deep Batman’s obsession with control goes. In Tower of Babel, we learn that Batman has a contingency plan for taking out each and every member of the DC Universe, up to and including the other members of the Holy Trinity, Superman and Wonder Woman. All hell breaks loose when Batman’s equal and foe, Ra’s Al Ghul, finds Batman’s contingency plans and unleashes terror upon the Justice League of America. While Batman isn’t on every page, Tower of Babel is a wonderful insight into Batman’s psyche. (Hardcore Batman fans, like your friendly neighborhood Geek, will take dark glee as Mark Waid confirms our long-held belief… Batman is the greatest hero of all time and every other cape best step back and behave themselves)!

Arkham Asylum: A Series House on Serious Earth – Where does one begin with this seminal Batman book? Written by Grant Morrison (I know, I just dissed him one entry up, but genius is genius) and art by the manically stunning Dave McKean, Arkham Asylum is a journey into madness and obsession. The premise is simple, all of Batman’s most dangerous foes have take control of Arkham and they will kill everyone unless their one demand is met: Batman. However, if you think Arkham Asylum is a simple “Batman show up, Batman fight villains, Batman win” story, you are sorely mistaken. You see, the Joker and others within Arkham have simple and slightly logical idea… Batman is just as nuts as they are and they want to welcome him “home” as one of their own. A deeply disturbing look into the psyche of Batman, the Joker, Two-Face, and other villains, Arkham Asylum is a tour de force of postmodern literature that even non-comic book fans should read. From the first page to the final panel, Arkham Asylum will have you questioning the morals behind and eternal struggle of good against evil.

Well there you are friends. A small reading list if you want to go into these July films with a solid foundation. Until next time, strap on your cowl and give ‘em hell!

With each turn of the page, Wheeler hits your sensibilities with his unique and slightly dark humor. I mean, it takes a special person to turn impalement into a joke. Don’t think too hard though, as then you’ll start to wonder what kind of a person laughs at said impalement joke.

Then there are the pages that make you pause for a moment. Not too long, but just long enough to realize that Shannon got you laughing at a font joke. It helps that I have a strange fascination with all things Chank Diesel, but that doesn’t mean the joke won’t work on everyone.

They aren’t all guffaws and simple gags. A few of these Postage Stamp Funnies will simply leave you smiling. It isn’t a chuckle. It isn’t a grin. It isn’t an outburst. A special smile you get when you’re holding the hand of the one you love. The smile that reminds you that everything is going to be okay.

Shannon Wheeler and his Postage Stamp Funnies will be a welcome addition to anyone’s bookshelf. Better still, free the three books from their pretty box. Lay them out in the open. Keep the books out for all to see and read. Postage Stamp Funnies will warm your heart and tickle your mind… One panel at a time.

"Ayre Force" is the story of Calvin Ayre, the CEO of Bodog Entertainment, a burgeoning multimedia empire that houses singers, poker players and mixed-martial artists. For the purposes of the story, Ayre is not just a billionaire playboy like Bruce Wayne or Tony Stark, he’s an environmental crusader who recruited his entertainers on the basis of their civic-mindedness, their proclivity for “wet-work,” and their ability to kill lots of people with semi-automatic weapons in covert ops missions.

Granted, it’s a comic-book. Plausibility is meant to be stretched in four colors. But the marriage of real-life players to this outlandish Rainbow Six ripoff is as ill-considered as Michael Jackson’s engagement to Debbie Rowe. Writers Adam Slutsky (Maxim, Stuff, Razor, and Fight magazines) and Joseph Illedge (editor of Batman) slapped together a story that begins with Ayre leading his squad of poker players and singers into a Bear Bile harvesting facility, only to be trapped by Ayre’s longtime adversary, Janus Winter, a multimillionaire into gene splicing to create hybrid supervillains. Winter has genetically modified his children into manimal-esque warriors, bent on exacting revenge on Ayre and his uppity, peaceful ways.

It only gets sillier from there, as poker players Josh Arieh, Evelyn Ng and David Williams are captured and tortured, and the Ayre Force has to launch a rescue attempt into the heart of Winter’s compound. If this had been, as I suspect, a pre-existing story that just had it’s cardboard characters swapped out for real-life employees on the Bodog payroll, it might have just been corny and mildly amusing. But even as an ego-stroking bit of “what-if” that looks to coast solely on the novelty of seeing recording artist Bif Naked killing faceless goons with gunshots to the face, and kicking cat-people in the chin? This is mostly lazy, sloppy failure.

The only person seeming to put any real effort into this is artist Shawn Martinbrough, whose noir-ish style lends the whole mish-mash an air of stylistic integrity. Except for the panel or two where it feels like Martinbrough pushed back from his worktable, looked at the script, looked at his art, and went “Really? REALLY?” and went outside for a drink or ten.

I wouldn’t blame him, either. If this were filmed and released, it’d be an Asylum Films straight to DVD Release, except even those cash grabs (think Snakes on a Train, Transmorphers, Ratatoing,) at least put a little thought into the one-liners. Near the climax, when Winter’s Manimal Family is closing in on the Leather and Armor clad Ayre Force, this exchange occurs:

Trevor Prangley: Wow. You’re a big girl
Helena Winter: Too much for you?
Trevor Prangley: You know what they say. The bigger they are—
Helena Winter: The harder they hit!
SFX: WHAM!

But the coup-de-grace of bad dialog comes during the actual coup de grace of the narrative. It’s a minor miracle the word balloons could stay aloft in the panels, considering they’re weighted down by the turds contained therein:

“You want some science, Janus? Here’s your damn science! Right up your ass, you piece of garbage. Time to cash out.”

As a comic book, it’s a noble failure, and only noble in that the proceeds from buying it go to the Calvin Ayre foundation for the stopping of harvesting bear bile, a practice that is so painful to the animals that they end up chewing their own limbs off in response. Aside from the novelty enjoyment a poker fan or MMA enthusiast might get from seeing Josh Arieh or Jorge Masvidal unload clips into mercenaries while dressed like X-Men movie extras, you’d probably be better off just directly donating to Ayre’s foundation than you would purchasing the book. That way you get the warm glow of helping the less fortunate without having to own sub-par entertainment.