…The Return of the Red Box!

Is the D&D Starter Set a true return to the Red Box of old? Well, more on that at the end of the review. First, the disclaimer.

I still don’t like 4E. I’ve tried. I’ve tried a lot. I can see the appeal. Shoot, I even had fun on the Dark Sun game day. But I still just can’t fully grok 4th Edition. Not that there is anything intrinsically wrong with the mechanics of 4E. The game flows. Combat is relatively streamlined. Skill checks leave me wanting, but I am the first to admit that it’s a personal choice. (Hell, I’m someone that liked Secondary Skills - At least I’m up front about it).

With all that in mind, I like what Wizards of the Coast is going for with the new Starter Set.

Clocking in at $20.00, this is an introduction set in the truest sense of the word. If you’ve never played D&D and have always been curious or, (as I believe the intended audience) have a kid that wants to know more; but you can’t justify the $90 for a full Core Rules books, this is the purchase for you. The Starter Set includes everything a completely new player needs to enjoy their first game. Short Players Guide, short Dungeon Masters Guide, character sheets, PC and Monster tokens, Battle mat, and dice. It even has rules for a solo adventure, so you can test out the game without a DMs involvement. (Though to really experience the game, you need a DM. Still, glad WotC included the solo).

The game mechanics have been streamlined a little more from the standard 4E rules. Combat and skill checks are extremely basic. PC characters are limited to the classic Fighter, Wizard, Rouge, and Cleric. Races, again are limited to the fantasy baseline of Human, Elf, Dwarf, and Halfling. In that respect, the new Starter Set feels akin to the old school D&D of the 1970s and 80s. Character creation is simple, though the younger gamers may find the process a little boring. It may not be a bad idea to make some ahead of time and let kids pick their favorite if you want to get them right into the thick of play.

I know I keep referencing small kids in this review. Intentional or not, the new Starter Set feels like an ages 10 and under introduction to Dungeons and Dragons. This isn’t a bad thing. If you have a kid that likes fantasy and expressed an interest in games, (and you don’t want them on a PC or console all the time) you could do a lot worse than the Dungeons & Dragons Starter Set. The rules are simple, while not being boring. The Starter Set will take a fresh group of players and DM up through 2nd level, by then you will know if the game is for you or not. (And, whether or not you’re ready to make that $90 commitment). The graphic presentation is strong, this is one gorgeous box set. There are only a couple of rule typos - like failing to mention how Magic Missile no longer targets multiple creatures. However, these are minor complaints about a box set that really does deliver on it’s promise:

Your First Step on the Road to Adventure.

Wizards of the Coast is never going to sway the old fuddy like me. They will never get me to like 4th Edition. I can play it with friends, but I’ll never shake that nagging feeling in the back of my fanboy head. “This isn’t MY D&D”.

But, if I wanted to get new players into the hobby. Players that never once picked up a set of poly dice. The Dungeons and Dragons Starter Set is the way to go.

So yea, this is the Return of the Red Box!

Yes, I’m cheating again. However, this one is for a good cause (other than laziness - which is a true cause in and of itself). I am currently Halfling deep in the 1991 Dungeons & Dragons Rules Cyclopedia (and loving every slide-graph moment of it) when an idea hit me…

What would happen if you had the old school face off against the new school? Or, can a group that only knows D&D 4th Edition enjoy the most basic of fantasy rules set; and vice-versa, can the “get off my lawn” gamer crowd (of which I am slowly becoming) enjoy a session of 4th Edition?  While I gather a few players (drop me a line on the Contact Page if you’re interested in playing and/or DM’n), please enjoy this earliest of GeekintheCity Gamer posting from Spring 2004…

Whew, someone has been slacking lately. I wish I could blame it on a Denubian Slime Devil, but truth be told, I’ve just been a big ‘ol lazy Geek. To be fair, I am in the middle of moving… Yea, that’s it! Anyway, few days ago I found myself cleaning up after Saturday’s game. Among the usual trappings of Mountain Dew bottles, Tato-Skins crumbs, and various scraps of paper I found a lone D20. Ah the D20, arguably the most important die in the polyhedral pantheon of role-playing games. At least in the system we play it is, there are others that use the D10 primarily and others still that mainly use the very vanilla and easy to purchase D6. The D20 rolls better then the D8 (the WORST of all rollers in this humble Geek’s opinion). The D20 looks a bit sexier then it’s cousin, the D12 (the dice, not the hip-hop guys). The D20 is FAR safer then the ever dangerous D4, (seriously, games STOP when “D4 on the floor” is yelled, and you would understand why if you ever stepped on one barefooted in the middle of the night while relieving yourself of said Mountain Dew)! However, far and away the best trait of the D20 is that it is the easiest to swallow…

What? Don’t look at me that way. It is. Period. It’s basically round and if you buy a standard size D20 it slides just fine down your throat… Might choke a baby, but an adult would be fine. (That was a bit much; wonder how many folks stopped reading? Sheesh you make one baby joke and the whole world turns on you). Now then, I’m not saying I know from experience that a person could swallow it, I’m just saying that it LOOKS like you could swallow it.

Okay, so I almost found out…

See there is a simple rule when you get a bunch of guys over. They can and will dare themselves into anything… ANYTHING. That includes swallowing a D20 just cause you think you can (or cause another gamer bet that you couldn’t). There I am your friendly neighborhood Geek, sitting at the head of the gaming table watching my fellow dice rollers dare each other to do it. Well not all, there was “Sally”, the lone woman in our group and I am so glad we have her. Not just cause she is a good player, but because she is often the voice of reason among the XY group. (Although she has her moments too, but it often catches us dudes off guard so nothing “bad” ever happens). The daring went on and on. I shall do my best to avoid the graphic images associated with swallowing a D20, but suffice to say that even I was getting caught up in the daring. Imagine if you will: Three (relatively) grown men, one with a child himself (a child whom I am CERTAIN would get busted for even thinking of swallowing a D20) daring each other to swallow dice. Here I am egging them on. Telling them that I will give extra experience points to the first one who does it. This is like giving gold to a gamer, XP without risking a character? Damn man, sign me up! But wait, it gets better (and more graphic), I suggest that the player who…um…eh…”leaves” the best roll will get a free critical hit next time we game at a time of their choosing… Yea buddy, we’re a classy bunch.

Thank God for “Sally”…

“Guys, listen to yourselves! Oh my God, do you have any idea what you are doing”?

Four dumbstruck faces (one with a D20 in their mouth)…

In unison: “What”?!

She shamefully covers her face and does her best to suppress a laugh, “never mind”…

Yea, we put the D20’s down and went back to gaming… So ladies, let this be a lesson to you… Men NEVER grow up. 9, 29, 39, 109… You dare us enough… We’ll do ANYTHING…

Even swallow a D20.

From the classics like Monopoly or Scrabble getting a modern work over, new standards making their way across the pond like Settlers of Catan; to massively detailed strategy games like Arkham Horror or Pandemic. We really are in a Golden Age of boardgames. Indeed, when one considers competition from PC and console gaming, its rather shocking boardgames are surviving, let alone thriving. So, what games inspired this new crop of grand and detailed boardgames? Well… Probably not this one… As this is Back in the Day Boardgames!

Dungeon! (Um, it has Dragons, but they didn’t want to include them in the title I guess).

Released in 1980, Dungeon! was the intro game to help lure the kids into the dark and evil world of Dungeons & Dragons. Or, in my case, was the closest I could get to playing the devil’s game without getting into any trouble. Although my mom still glared at the “spells” with much scorn. Indeed, I am fairly certain that had my wonderful grandmother not purchased me the game at a garage sale; my well-meaning though wholly wrong mother would have burned the game in effigy. (And probably cursing E. Gary Gygax’s name the whole time)… Love you mom!

Considering the basic nature of the game and the era it hit the market, Dungeon! has a fairly complex set-up and “story”. Well, as complex as any RPG from 1980. You want gold. Monsters have gold. Monsters hang out in dungeons. Get to the killin! Before starting this epic adventure, you need to pick one of four character classes. The weak (but fast) Elf. The, um, heroic Hero. The mysterious Wizard. Finally, the…uh… really heroic Superhero! Look, I didn’t design the damn thing, I just played it… And you better be damn sure I always played the Superhero because, well, duh, Superhero! Also, the Superhero can totally whup on anything in the dungeon, who cares if they need the most gold to win. They’re the SUPERHERO! Oh yea, you need to earn a certain amount of gold to win the game, but as I only played against my grandmother, she always let me win. (And as an adult, I only play it drunk so I still ignore the rules - As proof, I just read the tattered yellowing rules and it would seem the Wizard needs the most gold to win).

Wait, you weren’t waiting for a “real” review were you? Okay, good. Had me nervous there for a minute.

Anyway, to earn swag and glory, you need to kill the monsters and to do that, you need to explore! Each colored-coded level lets you know if you even stand a chance of slaying the foul beasts. Like I said, if you pick the wimp ass Elf, you’re hosed. I mean, who gives a crap if you can find secret doors the easiest. That just means you die faster. Pointy-eared freak. Telling you, it is all about the Superhero. (I used to call it the Paladin in a sad attempt to convince my mom I was helping God by slaying evil monsters… It didn’t work).

As a boardgame, Dungeon! isn’t bad, it isn’t good either, but it still works. For me, Dungeon! was exactly what I needed in a time when I was surrounded by adults trying to tell me that anything that involved mythical creatures and my imagination was damning me to hell. Even decades after first playing the game, Dungeon! still brings a smile to my face as I flip through the overly convoluted rule booklet and the horribly written examples: “No monsters live in the Main Gallery, monsters shun the light”. (Much like your typical gamer). Over the years TSR and later Wizards of the Coast designed and released D&D themed board games. I’ve tried each and every one of them. Each time I find myself comparing these new versions to my early Dungeon! sessions with grandma.

Maybe that isn’t fair though. Maybe no modern board game, no matter how advanced and complex the rules can stand against childhood memories.

Then again, Dungeon! is indeed a classic and one that just might have inspired modern game designers.

I mean, you don’t see gamers still referencing and adapting the playing board from Dragon Strike to their adventures.

From Rockstar Games - Director John Hillcoat (director of The Proposition and The Road) brings you this Red Dead Redemption short film.  The 30 minute short is a glimpse inside the life of partially reformed outlaw John Marston as he journeys through the vanishing American west seeking out his former brothers in arms, all in the name of justice.  Not using actors to recreate moments in the game or back story (as in the entertaining Halo shorts), Hillcoat only used in-game footage.

More than a really fun short, I think it also re-opens a barely closed can of worms. Being Ebert’s argument that video games can never be art. Then again, does this flick even count as a game anymore, or are we simply watching a CGI short? Which, in turn, asks another question. Why bothering spending time and money on a live production of a video game adaptation when a good director, editor, and CG staff can create a compelling tale? Thanks to Rockstar Games for the flick.

Okay, that didn’t sound right. Then again, a good quickie requires little knowledge, a desire to have fun, and a couple of minutes. On the flip side, these are quickies that involve the Undead and Tentacles. Screw it, let’s keep running with the metaphor. Screw it, get it? So, Steve Jackson Games once again sucks us gamers out of our money with the promise of cheap and easy fun. Sure, the fun is simple as hell, but sometimes you don’t want deep. You just want fun. Okay, I really need to stop with the uber innuendos.

First up…

Cthulhu Dice - The premise. You’re a cultist. The other Cultists are total dicks and you want them to go insane before you do. I mean, you don’t want to not go insane, you are a Cthulhu Cultist, but still. No one wants to be the jack-ass that loses their marbles first. As the rules promise, it takes about 30 seconds to learn and about 20 minutes to play (sober). The game comes with 18 glass Sanity Tokens and the coolest looking D12 ever. I mean, seriously, the D12 is the loneliest of all dice. But, Steve Jackson Games and Cthulhu Dice makes that lone D12 look sexy. And thick. And purple. And…um… Covered in tentacles. (I guess the D12 comes in other colors, but unless you want to shill out the glow in the dark version, stick with thick and purple one). To play the game, all you need is two or more players (more is better).

I could go into the rules, but they are so freakin’ simple, all I’d be doing was coping them. Here are the basics. Roll the D12, name a Victim, roll a tentacle and steal take a Sanity Token from the poor sucker. Roll an Elder Sign, take from Cthulhu (assuming it has any to provide). Roll Cthulhu. All lose sanity. Muwahahahaha! Repeat until you’re the most sane or all go mad and fall victim to the Great and Terrible Cthulhu! For less than $6, you’ve got hours of bone rollin’ insanity! (And, that sexy purple D12).

Quick, commercial break.

Now, back to the show.

Zombie Dice - Coming in a thick and stumpy tube, Zombie Dice requires you give it a good shake and reach in deep for goo! (Okay, I gotta’ stop. It’s just so addicting. A-dict-ting. Ha)! Like Cthulhu Dice, Zombie Dice takes 30 seconds to learn and about 10 minutes to play. Indeed, for having more dice, Zombie Dice might actually take even less time to learn. The premise? Simple. You’re a zombie. You love brains. You’re annoyed by runners, but you really hate taking a shotgun blast to the face. A couple of folks are good with guns, a few more are good at running, but thankfully most are good and panicking and dying. That make sense? Good, then you’re ready to play Zombie Dice. First zombie to collect 13 brains wins the game and ends the world. (Okay, not the world part, but it sure would rock). So, here’s the break down. Zombie Dice has 13 dice (and costs $13.13, see a trend)? Anyway, there are 5 easy kill Green Dice with lots of Brain symbols (think of the folks killed in the opening credits of Zombieland). 4 Yellow Dice with a perfect balance of Brain, Escape, and Shotgun to the face symbols (think Not Michael Cera guy from Zombieland). Finally, 3 Red Dice with only one Brain, couple of Escapes, and a grip of Shotguns to the face (in keeping with this tired ass example, the Red Dice are Woody Harrelson in Zombieland). Fine Aaron, good lord, you said this game was even easier than Cthulhu Dice, why the frak is this review taking longer? Because! I like zombies and I want to stretch it out.

Fine. Put all the dice in the tube, shake it up. Reach in without looking, grab three dice and roll them. If you get three brains, huzzah! Those are yours. If you get Feet symbols, those guys escape. If you get a blast image, yup, Shotgun to the face. But, you’re a tough chunk ‘o Zed and can take 3 hits. But, say you get a mix of Brains, Feet, and Blast? Well, you keep the Brains, but you gotta’ keep the Blast to the face as well, and if you decide to go hunting some more; the feet stay in your hand and you grab two more dice and roll. Here’s the catch, you take three blasts to the face on your turn, you lose all the brains you collected this turn. So, if you want to avoid a 12-gauge whammy, you can bank the brains and pass the tube of dice. Repeat until someone eats 13 brains. That person wins and is the LORD OF THE UNDEAD! Again, another fantastic game for a group of friends to play. Good for all ages, but even better when you’re tossing back some brews with friends. And, like Cthulhu Dice, Zombie Dice are portable. Indeed, no true gamer should leave the house without either game.

That’s it people. For less than $20, you can get Two Quickies from Steve Jackson Games.

Get ‘em!