You know, I often claim that Geeks like to make fun of themselves for many reasons. As I’ve said before, it hones our skills against the real world and it’s always enjoyable to poke fun at your own. That’s not to say that we Geeks all live in this rosy world where everyone loves everyone else and we never have problems with each other. We don’t always agree on certain elements of pop culture and various hobbies. The element that is strange, however, is that Geeks have this odd snobbery when it comes to other Geeks. I’m rambling aren’t I? Okay, I’ll get on with it.
Geeks that hate
You’d find it funny to learn that when I walk into my local game store, I actually have to think about how my fellow Geeks will judge my various purchases. Sadly, this is all too true. If you sense an example coming… You would be correct:
I’ve always been a fan of the Dungeons and Dragons. It’s the game I started with, as did the majority of my fellow dice tossers. I still enjoy all those funky dice and making sure I make my saving throws. However, many gamers claim to have “moved beyond” such “childish” games. So, where do these mature gamers move onto? Well, the majority of them move onto such bastions of mature roll playing like White Wolf’s Vampire or Amber, the diceless roll playing game. Look, I’m not going to judge these games. They have their fine points and can be fun to play. In fact, the White Wolf system is fairly elegant and easy to learn. Hell, I’ll even admit to playing said White Wolf game from time to time, (not cause I really liked it, but if you’re trying to impress that hot goth Anne Rice reading chick with the black eyeliner and Bettie Paige haircut…Well, you gotta’ bone up on your vampiric angst). So, try to imagine this image. Your friendly neighborhood Geek at the game store. He’s looking at the new release shelf, oh look, a new Monster Manual; sweet, I think I’ll pick me up a copy. Enter the dude in the long black trench coat and sharpened black fingernails. He looks over at my purchase and snorts like an art critic in Soho acting like he knows the existential resonance of an orange curtain showing personifies within a postmodern western society. He then proceeds to grab an updated version of the Minds Eye Theater rules…
I’m a dork for sitting at a table and pretending. He’s the second coming for acting the part live!
Look at that, even in my attempt to stop all the Geek hating I can’t help but verbally taunt the LARP losers. Thankfully, I’m not the only one who thinks this way… To quote the semi-hackish Marilyn Manson
The difference between roll players and LARP people is simple…Even roll players get laid.
I’m not going to point out the fact that Mr. Manson has to be (or at one time was) a dice tosser to make said joke (as a “straight” would never even think of it). He’s doing Dita Von Teese, so have hope my fellow Geeks… Anyway, I’m diverting again. Back to the point, such as it is.
The Geek hating does not stop at role playing games.
Take for instance the eternal struggle between Star Wars and Star Trek fans. True, both are space epics that are in serious creative trouble, both have really obsessive fans, and until recently both were at complete war with each other. It’s true. I don’t really know when the peace treaty happened, but there was a time when Trekkies and Warsians (NEW WORD) fought a dorky cold war. We could be friends with each other, we could share Mountain Dew, we could even sit at the same gaming table… However, when the topic of who would win in an epic battle, the USS Enterprise or a Star Destroyer, look out! Most Geeks had this unspoken rule when it came to topics to avoid: No politics, no religion, no Star Trek versus Star Wars. Now though, with said science fiction franchises dying slow and painful deaths, Geeks have had to band together in an attempt to save both.
Then there are the strangest off all Geek haters… The Hardcore Lovecraft Fans and their disdain for the regular horror Geeks.
This is one that I don’t think I will ever understand. I have the mad love for Lovecraft. I understand and am grateful for his contribution to the world of horror and literature. That doesn’t mean that I can’t poke some fun at him or elevate ?ol HP to the level of sainthood. There is a small group of Lovecraft fans that do. These fans, when they hear the name Lovecraft, lower their heads and speak in hushed tones. Look, here’s the deal, Lovecraft was kind of a freak. Most creative people are a little freaky, just how it goes. You even try to create a Lovecraft spoof and you walk a fine, fine line. From what I have been able to gather from my Jane Goodall’esqu observations you can mock the characters that Lovecraft wrote about, but you never, ever mock the “Gentleman” (as they call him). You mock or satirize Lovecraft and you’ll find yourself the target of fanboy hate faster then an overload Probability Drive can cover all points of the galaxy all at once…
So, what was the point of all the above rambling. Simple, we Geeks need to bond better. We face insurmountable odds. Assaulted from all sides, we need to bound together like the races of men at the gates of Minas Tirith.
Until next time… Remember… The Enterprise could SO bitch slap a Star Destroyer…YEAH!