I was going to write a sweet article about setting my street cred aside and talking about the films that make your friendly neighborhood Geek a bit weepy. I was even going to time it with that fake holiday that occurred yesterday…But, alas…didn’t happen. I still may write that entry, but it might be a while now. So instead, I’m going to go from lovey-dovey to hacky-slashy…
Top 5 horror scenes in movie history… Or until I change my mind.
5 – Tunnel Through Hell – Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
What? You thought all the movies listed would be horror flicks? That will teach you, it doesn’t always take a monster or psycho to creep folks out. I still get the chills when I hear Gene Wilder start that little demonic nursery rhyme as the lights spin faster and faster… Sober or not, that is one damn creepy moment. Stop the boat.
4 – Hobbling Time – Misery
I don’t care who you are. When the talented Kathy Bates lets her sledgehammer of love fly and tag James Caan’s ankles, you scream like a little girl… Like a little girl who’s just had her ankles busted to a 90 degree angle! Holy crap
3 – Twins Are Creepy – The Shining
I’ve heard that Stephen King has never watched the Kubrick version of the film due to “creative differences”. It’s a shame, because he missed out on one of the most frightening images ever put to film. Those creepy hand holding twins staring at poor Danny, only to have “The Shining” kick in so that we, along with Danny, see the grisly murder scene. This probably affects me more then most people because I used to baby-sit these twin girls who had freaky eyes whose pupils wouldn’t dilate…and they spoke in unison…Weird.
2 – Sloth – Se7en
This scene never ceases to make me jump…and then cringe. Watching the zombie dude come to life in that air freshener filled room is simply disturbing. More than the visceral image, the thought of keeping someone alive through such pain leaves a deeper impact on me.
1 – Dinner Time – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It’s the dinner that never ends, no matter how much you want (or beg) for it to. Watching that cannibalistic family go to work on that poor girl makes ones blood turn cold. Just when you think it couldn’t get any worse, ?ol grandpa rolls on over and starts to drink from her open wounds…ARGH!
I know that I’ve left out many, many, many scenes… And to be honest, if you were to ask me again in a few days what I thought the five most frightening images on film were; I’d likely give you five different answers. (Although number one would rarely change). Crap…I don’t have a good wrap up this time, that’s okay… A poor ending to a poorly thought out column!
Until next time… Remember, if you’re going to build homes on Indian burial grounds, move more then just the headstones…