Cheap Ass Top 5 List


Don’t you just love the end of the year? It’s a writers dream. It allows each and every one of us to cop out and write up these easy lists. Doesn’t take a whole lot of work. We just go back and look at what we reported on over the last 365. Copy a couple of sentences, write a few pithy comments and bam… Good to go. Well, let me just tell you that your friendly neighborhood Geek is not… I repeat, is NOT above such a cheap trick. And so…

Honorable Mention – Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow takes a bath at the box office:
This isn’t that big of a deal to most folks, even to most Geeks. But, I’ve long had a love for the pulp era style of tales. Sky Captain had that in spades. Unfortunately, as I feared, the movie did not perform very well. I honestly wasn’t very surprised. This just wasn’t the type of film that the typical American movie patron would get behind. Granted, it wasn’t perfect and had a good amount of flaws. It just bums me out that filmmakers take chances and then take it in the face, while crap like Meet the Fockers breaks sales records. Sucks.

5 – Jessica Alba as Sue Storm:
I’m sure some of my fellow Geeks will whine and complain over this one, well too bad. As I’ve said before, Jessica Alba is all kinds of hot, however she is NOT Mrs. Fantastic. Sue Storm (like it or not) is Mrs. Cleaver with superpowers. She needs to look like someone’s mom, a mom that can save the world mind you, but still a mom. While I can imagine Jessica Alba looking good and kicking ass, I can’t imagine her changing diapers. Good thing we have the Incredibles as a example of a perfect superhero family movie. Something that the makers of the Fantastic Four movie seem to notice, as Comic Book Resources reports that the final battle was re-filmed after seeing the Pixar gem.

4 – Sam Raimi announces an Evil Dead remake:
This one would have been higher on this list, but until I see the director himself announce these plans openly I will keep this in the “ah crap” rumor department. Regardless, the very idea that Sam will allow an Evil Dead remake bums this Geek to his Deadite core. I’ll say it again, please Sam, don’t do it.

3 – CrossGen closes it’s doors:
I know that the company is still around, but it appears that is exists in name only anymore. I will admit that I didn’t help the company that much as I didn’t buy too many titles. As I’ve said before, when money is tight you don’t take too many risks with your comic book dollar. I was a fan of Sojourn and El Cazador. They attracted some solid talent in all departments and I loved the idea of comic book creators getting a regular paycheck and health care (what a concept). Too be honest, I don’t really know the details of CrossGen’s fall. Ask Brother D, I’m sure he can give you better details then I. Still, it is disappointing for such an ideal to fall. Maybe the time will come again.

2 – The Nipple Phobic FCC declares war on the Constitution:
No longer giving a crap for the Bill of Rights, the FCC begins to censor any and all broadcasters in the country. Not happy with taking control of the “public” airwaves, they have turned their attention to cable and satellite; services which by their very definition are in our homes by PERSONAL choice. Next time your uber conservative friend asks you what happened to personal responsibility, ask them if that extends to their ability to change the damn channel or turn the friggen thing off. I wish I could say it is going to get better, but I highly doubt it. In a way that is okay. It simply forces people to become more creative in their art form. Good times.

1 – Christopher Reeve dies:
I know there are bigger issues in the world. But, when I think about the symbol he came to exemplify, I can’t help but be said. Nothing more need be said.

I promise the next posting will end on a happier note

About Aaron

Aaron Duran is founder and head writer of, a website devoted to the latest in movies, comics, tabletop games, digital pastimes, and all things Geek. His fascination with comics, film, music, and obscure trivia has transformed into a lifelong pursuit of pop culture knowledge. A precocious writer who started out by spinning elaborate stories based on his favorite sci-fi and adventure franchises, he befuddled his grade-school teachers, who were convinced that no child could write that well at such a young age. When not hard at work on his plans for world domination, Aaron creates highly acclaimed independent films, freelances in many forms of media, explores the minutiae of pop culture, and shares his love of all things Geek with the world through his writing.
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