This may be a little late, but I might as well jump on the bandwagon and run with my “what to buy your *insert whatever* in your life. I first said I was going to list the top 10 items to buy the Geek in your life, but being lazy and running out of time, I decided to stick with the top 5 items to get the Geek in your life. Unlike most lists, this one really doesn’t have an order as all the items listed below would be loved by your significant dork. Well, except for number 1, that will ALWAYS be number 1. It should be noted that I am leaving out the obvious listings of video games, movies, and music box sets; seriously, if you are dating a Geek, these items should be givens.
Honorable Mention- Magazine subscriptions:
Yea, I know no real surprise here. But, you can really impress the Geek in your life by selecting a non-mainstream title. If they love the horror, then get them a year of Rue Morgue. The music Geek would love some Blender so he can beat his wannabe hipster friends who still read Rolling Stone. Some Game Informer if they love the digital fragging. Open your mind, if they like it, chances are there is a magazine for it. This also applies to comic book subscriptions.
5 – Gift Cards:
This also falls under the category of “Gifts you give when you don’t know the person”. Or, as I like to call it: “The gift you ask your grandma for, cause she still doesn’t know what you collect, bless her heart”. This should go without saying, but don’t get him or her a card to Wal-Mart or Sears, its not going to get used, ever. (Well, the Wal-Mart one will, but are you prepared to have that much soda in your kitchen)? No, if you must get a card then get one from a local comic book shop (for those in Portland, try here). Also, as most Geeks live online, get him or her some credit at one of the many online only merchants, like the fine folks at Think Geek.
4 – Rare books/records/movies:
This one will take some work on your part and should only be attempted by those who really know their Geek. You have to be paying attention all year to catch on. Geeks will often obsess on one particular artist or genre. Whenever he or she speaks of said obsession keep your ears open for key words. Did they mention early manuscripts? Did they talk about “lost” records? Do they lament the fact that a certain film is long out of print? Look long and hard for these items. If you find them, buy them, regardless of the condition you find said item in. It will make you a hero in your Geek’s life. You will think they are happy because you are an attentive partner, they will be happy cause they will be secure in knowing they are dating someone with refined taste.
3 – Collectable Action Figures:
Shut-up, they are NOT dolls! Repeat after me: “Collectable action figures. COLL – ECT – ABLE”. Got it? Good. These dolls rule! This one is pretty easy although they can get a little expensive. Just look around your Geek’s place, he or she will have their walls / counters / bookshelves covered in various movie, music, or television series memorabilia. In this age of merchandising it is a forgone guarantee that there will be a series of collectable action figures tied in with said pop culture series. One of the best places you can go it over to the fine folks at Sideshow Collectables. We like the 12″ ones the best, especially the ones that are carved from resin. Sweet. Oh, oh, and the statues, those rule too.
2 – Movie Props and Prop Replicas:
This is not to be confused with number 3 on this list. There is a definite difference. Geeks love to feel some form of connection to their favorite movie and television shows. Having prop replicas allows us to enjoy the viewing experience on a deeper level. I know that sounds a little lame, but trust me, it does. If you wonder what form of replicas would make a Geek swoon, here’s an example, I could tell you what it was… If only you spoke Jovetos… While beyond the bank accounts of most mortals, if you can find actual props used in the film, then said Geek will love you till the end of time!
1 – Lust in a Gold Bikini or Green Body Paint:
What? You thought I could go a whole article about Geeks without mentioning our shared obsession? Hell no! This one will always be number one. Just walk in the room dressed as our favorite princess or Orion Slave girl and watch us turn into dorky goo. To be fair, I don’t know what female Geeks want. (The girls who like boys I mean. Cause the ones who like girls want the princess from Alderaan as well). I know you were waiting for some deep revelation here, but that’s really it… A hot girl dressed as Princess Leia (or an Orion Slave Girl, this Geek’s personal favorite) while holding that sweet ass Samaritan prop from Hellboy. Hey now!