One Night Stands Are Healthy

Tolkien had resurgence in the popular culture. 30 years ago lanky men (and some women) decided they wanted some plot to their epic battles. So, a small rather unassuming man from Wisconsin came up with some rules to add a little depth to his tactical combat. Making some Xerox copies and wrapping them in a blue notebook a young Gary Gygax began selling a game he (oddly) called Chainmail. 30 years later the game is stronger then ever, but with a flashier (but still highly mocked) name of Dungeons and Dragons! That’s right people; June marks the 30th anniversary of the most loved, endured, hated, cherished, and misunderstood hobby of the 20th (and hopefully 21st) century. All week I shall take you on a mythical journey through the realm of Dungeons and Dragons… Strap yourselves in, it’s gonna’ be a bumpy (and likely dorky) ride…


As many of you know, your friendly neighborhood Geek in a “two-fisted Dungeon Masta'”. I make the rules! I make the world! Hell, I make the Gods (or GAWDS as my more MAWN’ish friends like to call them). I love being the DM (that’s short for…well; you should be able to figure it out). Really, it’s a fun responsibility (and believe me, RESONSILBILTY is the term to use, trust me. You screw up and not write a good game, heads will roll). I love seeing how the simple plot I create gets twisted and added to by my players. There is just one problem. I (for the most part) know how the story will end; I also don’t have any free will. I know this seems strange but follow me here (those that still care). As a DM all the actions of the characters I control has pre-determined destiny and actions. Regardless of what my players do, I know EXACTLY how the people in my world will react. There in lies the problem. I don’t get to control my own destiny. I don’t get to play…

Which is way God created the “one-shot”.

Lost? Okay, try thinking about it this way… You are in a loving relationship with a person (let’s just ASSUME it’s a person). You are together all the time. You love this person with all your heart and soul. When you are together the sun is shining and the birds are singing. It’s like a sickly sweet Disney movie, but you don’t care because you’re in love. And, when you are alone with you partner you have sweet, sensuous love making. Maybe a little incense, soft new age cra…I mean music. Everything is just dandy. This is how life is when you are happy and in love. But… Inside all of us is the primal animal. The beast that craves the hunt. The animal that has no need for love. No need to sensuous talk. Hell, it barely has need to a language. It simply wants to ?F like an animal. Anyone who has been with a person long enough knows this. To keep a relationship healthy and strong… One. Must. F@ck.

The same can be said for a one-shot…

The one-shot allows me as a DM to get to stand in the player’s shoes. For a short moment I control my own destiny. I interact with the world without a clue as to what is coming next. I may save the kingdom, I may get all the gold, I may save the young, supple, princess…Or, I may get hacked to pieces by slobbering Orcs. It matters not. I leave the table refreshed and whole. I am ready to continue on with my DM’ing duties happy and invigorated…

And with that I take me leave… My character rolled up and… What doth my Geek eyes spy? Yea, a wandering maid…Verily I shall…Ah f@ck it…

Till next time, may all your rolls be NATURAL 20’s! Oh-Rah!