Geeks have long made lists of the most bad ass women in Sci-Fi, Horror, Comics, and any other general geeky genre. But, never has the attempt been made to list out the Geek women that elicit pure lust from us basement dwelling Geeks… Until now!
Number 10 –
Nova from Planet of the Apes (Linda Harrison)
Okay. Let me just give the list as to why this woman makes Geeks all tingly… 1960s woman (the hottest era for women, when curves were “allowed and sexy” damn you Twiggy). Well oiled. Dark wild hair. Scantily clad. Mute. Don’t agree? Go pound it, she’s hot!
Number 9 –
Dr. Beverly Crusher from Star Trek: TNG (Gates McFadden)
Ah Doctor Crusher, I cried so when you were replaced with that frigid Dr. Pulaski. Like a fine wine, Gates McFadden becomes more and more tempting with age. Seriously, you take a photo from season one and place it next to a Nemesis image and see for yourself. I’d call in sick ALL THE TIME if it meant a trip to sickbay!
Number 8 –
Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Alyson Hannigan)
What the hell is with all these redheads in Geekdom? Anyway… We all love that little witch from Sunnydale. Willow’s hotness grew on all of us. The little smile that gave just a sly hint at the naughtiness that lingered just below the surface of her perfect skin. A naughtiness that came to fruition with Vampire Willow, or this Geek’s personal favorite: Darth Rosenburg. Whew…
Number 7 –
Lee Daniels from Black Momma, White Momma (Pam Grier)
Dude! Come one. They don’t get much hotter then this lovely Ebony Goddess! Ms. Pamela Grier is pretty much hot in ANYTHING she does, but in Black Momma, White Momma she is a “woman in chains”. Sweet mother of mercy. Three-ways, shower scenes, ah… I can’t take it anymore!
Number 6 –
Velma from Scooby Doo (Linda Cardellini)
The greatest way to test a Geeks true color is to ask him or her, of the two women from Scooby Doo whom would they rather give the big loving too. Posers will ALWAYS pick Daphne. A true Geek knows that the hot passion lies within the be-speckled Velma. With her cropped hair, librarian glasses and a penchant for turtleneck sweaters, Velma works it without even trying! Jinkies indeed!
Number 5 –
Orion Slave Girls from Star Trek (Majel Barret and Susan Oliver)
We can all be adults here. We all know that slavery (for any reason) is wrong and should NEVER be supported. That being said, there ain’t nothing hotter then those green skinned women writhing about in skimpy 1960s belly dancing outfits to the whims of drooling Starship captains! These women created a green woman fetish that touches the cockles of Geeks around the world, don’t get me started about Twi’lik dancers!
Number 4 –
Dana Scully from The X-Files (Gillian Anderson)
Smart is sexy. Period. Just close your eyes and picture this red headed goddess in her power suit and high heels walking into a room and telling you EXACTLY what you can do with yourself. Okay, so maybe that borders on the dominatrix side a wee bit. But come on Geeks; give in to the logical lust of a skeptic. If you’re good and do as your told, Agent Scully might let you touch her…gun…
Number 3 –
Seven of Nine from Star Trek: Voyager (Jeri Ryan)
The show sucked ass, was filled with lame plots, useless technobabble, and a Captain who sounded like a Muppet; but who cares! Seven of Nine was the woman we ALL wanted to be assimilated by. The shiny body suits, blonde hair pulled back tight, and just enough “implants” to be fun without becoming distracting. It should be noted that Jeri Ryan was never as hot in Boston Public as she was in Voyager. Guess the Borg DO want to improve the quality of life for all…
Number 2 –
Faith from Buffy The Vampire Slayer (Eliza Dusku)
Pretty sad that the inspiration for this list, the rail thin Sarah Michelle Gellar, NEVER makes it on. But, her raven-haired partner that shares her skills sure as hell does. Eliza is flat out hot no matter how you look at her, (from the jailbait daughter in True Lies to the craptacular Tru Calling). There is a danger lurking behind those lucious deep brown eyes of hers. She is walking lust that demands the attention of all whom look upon her. Eliza has a sway that is (as a female friend of mine who shall remain nameless says) screams “Yummy”. Just don’t stair cause she will run your ass through and not bat an eye as she moves on to her next target!
Number 1 –
Princess Leia from Star Wars (Carrie Fischer)
Come on! Like you didn’t see this one coming. She is the original Geek wet dream for people of my generation, and that’s all that really matters. We love Princess Leia in all her forms. However, Geek opinion is split between which movie the Senator from Alderaan looks the hottest. The white dressed, bra-less, bouncy, bun-haired Princess Leia of A New Hope or the chained, golden bikini-clad, naughty braided, thigh showing Princess Leia of Return of the Jedi. For this Geek’s money, it doesn’t get any better then the Leia of the 1970s. She had an energy that can not be matched in her Jedi version. The Leia of A New Hope is NOT a victim! She is the rough and ready Rebel leader who dives headfirst into danger and garbage shoots. Plus, I can’t get the image of Carrie Fischer letting Grips and Gaffers draw straws to see who gets to rip the tape from her young, round, and full Bo-ba-ba-los and then…wait for it… massage them… oh…Oh…OH!!!