What’cha Gonna Do When They Come For You?

There is this great little fan film called Troops made by Kevin Rubio. It’s been available for many years now and I’m sure that the bulk of you have seen it. Well, at least those of you who scour the Internet for every little nugget of Star Wars love you can find. I KNOW you people; we can smell our own you know! Just in case you haven’t seen it, go…now…watch it…come back to my rambling later… What are you still doing here? GO! WATCH THE DAMN THING!

[Insert intermission music here]


Okay, you get a chance to take in the sheer fanboy joy of Troops? Good. Now we can talk a bit about it. There is this great little scene where one Stormtrooper is talking to another and they are lamenting about going to the Lars homestead yet again. The trooper turns and says, “If I gotta’ come out here one more time…ready to shoot them both”. That little bit makes me chuckle like a schoolgirl. It cuts to the core of the evil of the Galactic Empire but in a very subtle and humorous way. Course, now that it’s happening on a frighteningly regular basis in Portland it’s not as funny as it used to be…

I can already hear some of you rolling your eyes. “Oh great, he’s going start preaching to us now. What does he know about being a cop”. Well, not a lot really. But I do know that you don’t plug a guy four times for not signaling. I don’t care how sketchy your past was. I don’t care if you don’t have ID or insurance. Hell, if those rules were used for everyone then I wouldn’t have a grandmother and Portland would be without a Basketball team. Now I’m not saying that a cop should not defend themselves or anyone else in danger with any means possible. Hell no, if your life is in danger you fight to protect it any way you can! But our local finest are getting a little trigger-happy. Getting dragged by a coasting car at 10 miles per hour doesn’t warrant killing someone. Neither does pulling over someone for not using a turn signal. Granted I don’t have all the facts and I wasn’t there. Still, when you have someone surrounded and have a taser pointed at them you really shouldn’t have to send four slugs into their body. Many would call it overkill, but as Professor Plum says, “it’s what I would call psychotic”.

Wish I had an idea what to do though. I’m sure there was a time when you felt safe and secure when a cop car was behind or next to you, not so much anymore. I’ve been pulled over a number of times. Only once for a legitimate reason (you’re friendly neighborhood Geek was cruising America’s highways WAY TOO fast). The other three times was simply (from my end at least) to screw with me. It’s not a good feeling. Thankfully many of my family members are in law enforcement and I know exactly how to act when the man pulls me over. Hands on the wheel, keep the palms open, and move really, REALLY slow. But, that doesn’t mean I bend over and do whatever they want. I know that pesky Bill of Rights well and if you want to check out my car you better have a note from a judge (that would be a warrant) or see a dead body hanging from my trunk (and that would be probable cause). It should be noted that the guy who pulled me over tried to engage me in “witty banter”…

“Where you heading this late at night, big drug deal? Heh, heh, heh”.

No sir.

“What’s in the trunk? Fun place to stuff a body ain’t it”!

I wouldn’t know I just keep a spare tire there.

These quotes were not made up; I will remember them for the rest of my days. He was trying his best to bait me. When that didn’t work he flat out demanded I let him look in my car. To which I asked him to get a warrant and I would be more then happy to let him look. Darn you Bill of Rights! (Although I guess this isn’t need anymore in Louisiana, Mardi Gras should be fun next year). This kept up for about 30 minutes. He eventually told me to “get a move on” in a less then pleasant manner. I didn’t file a complaint. I didn’t write a letter. I was just happy to make it home without a trip to the slammer or the emergency room. Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I should have said something. Maybe we all should say something when power is abused.

At the rate we are going we’re going to start hearing – “Throw up your arms and prepare to be judged”!

Let the hate mail begin…again.